Thursday, 21 July 2011

Murphy on a Bus!

You cannot help but crib about how travelling sucks especially if you happen to pass by a certain JVLR!! The worst part comes when you have to travel in a BEST bus!! BEST? Really? The following explains how it happens:

  1. You catch an AC bus considering the summer humidity.
  2. You ask the conductor to give a ticket for Vikhroli and takes out a Rs 100 note.
  3. The conductor looks at you as if you are a lowly filthy creature and says "Chhutta do". Chhutta? really? The ticket costs Rs 35  and you re the one whose supposed to keep chhutta!
  4. You say no. The conductor stops the bus some 300 mtrs away from the nearest bus stop so you dont have any other option other than to walk.
  5. So you reach the nearest Bus Stop and catch another Bus which you remember your friend telling you about.
  6. The Bus is medially crowded. You manage to get a seat but theres a problem. The seat is reserved for ladies.
  7. As fate would have it a girl with a iPod in one hand, wearing sunglasses and wearing kilos of make up enters asks you to get up. Come on! There are other seats empty too but no, she wants ladies seat only! As if her gender would change if she sits on some other seat.
  8. Now you see an empty seat on the left hand side. With having no options I sat on a "Jyesth Nagarik" seat!
  9. Karma bites again, an old man enters and the seat is gone again.
  10. You dont see any other seat empty than the "Drivers friend seat" at the front which is meant for the physically challenged. You conquer yor throne.
  11. Uptill now you should be drenched with litres of sweat. You settle down. The traffic is slow moving and you have just reached Jai Coach! You try to get lost in the sights of Air Conditioned Mercs and BMWs. You sigh. 
  12. Suddenly you feel someone tapping on your shoulder. You turn back and you see a man in his early thirties with a  dressing bandage on his index finger of the right hand. He asks you to get up pointing at the board which read "Reserved for the physically challenged". Looking at the guy the board should ve been "Mentally Challenged"! For once I wanted to retort "ungli kaha kaha ghusate ho?" but kept mum and hung on to a rod like a wet umbrella.
  13. You try to go to sleep in the "Standing Position". You succeed considering the night shifts you've been doing at your job.
  14. After a good 20 mins you wake up and you dont recognise the area the bus is cruising thru. You ask the conductor about the whereabouts of the bus and you get the shock of your life that you have reached Saki Naka!
  15. You call up your friend and ask him if the bus number was correct. You get a lame answer "Pehle toh jaati thi Vikhroli!"
  16. You hang up after you make sure you have utterred all the expletives from delhi belly to your friend.
  17. Dejected you catch another bus and the cycle continues!



  2. The bus to Vikhroli passes thru JVLR! I travel daily! -_-"

  3. Awesome post man!!!

    I burst out laughing at the "Apang" point...have had to bid adieu to my seat in favour of band-aid-wielding morons a couple of times.

    Have always wanted to write a post about weird bus travellers...i think i'll do it now..

    Blogrolling you


    Do visit mine

    Oh, btw, sakinaka sucks:P