Blogorithm :D

This is how I Blog!!! :D

Blog Algorithm:

START

1. Observe something.

2. Is it an awesome topic? Yes: Go to 3 NO: Go to 9

3. Get excited and Think some more. Go to 4

4. Awesome content collected. Go to 5

5. Is it short? Yes: Go to 6 No: Go to 7

6. Post it on Facebook. Go to 9

7. Check Colour of Moon. Is it blue? Yes: Go to 8 No: Go to 9

8. Write a Blog on it. Go to 9.

9. END

Murphy on a Bus!

You cannot help but crib about how travelling sucks especially if you happen to pass by a certain JVLR!! The worst part comes when you have to travel in a BEST bus!! BEST? Really? The following explains how it happens:

1. You catch an AC bus considering the summer humidity.
2. You ask the conductor to give a ticket for Vikhroli and takes out a Rs 100 note.
3. The conductor looks at you as if you are a lowly filthy creature and says "Chhutta do". Chhutta? really? The ticket costs Rs 35  and you re the one whose supposed to keep chhutta!
4. You say no. The conductor stops the bus some 300 mtrs away from the nearest bus stop so you dont have any other option other than to walk.
5. So you reach the nearest Bus Stop and catch another Bus which you remember your friend telling you about.
6. The Bus is medially crowded. You manage to get a seat but theres a problem. The seat is reserved for ladies.
7. As fate would have it a girl with a iPod in one hand, wearing sunglasses and wearing kilos of make up enters asks you to get up. Come on! There are other seats empty too but no, she wants ladies seat only! As if her gender would change if she sits on some other seat.
8. Now you see an empty seat on the left hand side. With having no options I sat on a "Jyesth Nagarik" seat!
9. Karma bites again, an old man enters and the seat is gone again.
10. You dont see any other seat empty than the "Drivers friend seat" at the front which is meant for the physically challenged. You conquer yor throne.
11. Uptill now you should be drenched with litres of sweat. You settle down. The traffic is slow moving and you have just reached Jai Coach! You try to get lost in the sights of Air Conditioned Mercs and BMWs. You sigh. 
12. Suddenly you feel someone tapping on your shoulder. You turn back and you see a man in his early thirties with a  dressing bandage on his index finger of the right hand. He asks you to get up pointing at the board which read "Reserved for the physically challenged". Looking at the guy the board should ve been "Mentally Challenged"! For once I wanted to retort "ungli kaha kaha ghusate ho?" but kept mum and hung on to a rod like a wet umbrella.
13. You try to go to sleep in the "Standing Position". You succeed considering the night shifts you've been doing at your job.
14. After a good 20 mins you wake up and you dont recognise the area the bus is cruising thru. You ask the conductor about the whereabouts of the bus and you get the shock of your life that you have reached Saki Naka!
15. You call up your friend and ask him if the bus number was correct. You get a lame answer "Pehle toh jaati thi Vikhroli!"
16. You hang up after you make sure you have utterred all the expletives from delhi belly to your friend.
17. Dejected you catch another bus and the cycle continues!

10 easy steps to get fired!

• Tell your boss that you have Swine Flu and the Virus spreads through LAN!

• Whisper sheepishly into ur boss’ ears “I’ve got two tickets for a movie”.

• Ask him to outsource the project from a bunch of college kids for Rs. 10000.

• Tell him about the adventures you had in the previous company by escaping with confidential documents.

• Shout out loudly in the office “No! My PL doesn’t watch porn!”

• Tell him how comfortable your Cotton undies are!

• Ask him if he needs assistance in wearing supporter at the office Gym!

• Tell him the story about how you shot your professor mercilessly because he wont give you good grades!

• Drop in at the Boss’ house to tell his Wife/Daughter how superbly he handles his female resources at work!

• Post a snap of your Boss’ salary slip on Facebook and tag your Boss! Don’t forget to add this caption: “My Ambition in Life!”

10 After Effects of ILP!

Firstly lemme explain you what ILP actually is... ILP-Initial Learning Programme is the training provided for the newly recruited people by the company I work for.. We had to stay in Ahmedabad (Seriously, ILP made Ahmedabad AhmedaGOOD!)... There were Friends, moments, oily food, goof ups etc i'll never forget.. Thus it has left a lasting impression on me. The following are the ILP Hangover Effects:

1. You wake up at 8:15 in your house and ur feet start walking towards the bathroom. You then bang the   Bathroom door and shout "Abbe saale Cherry bahar nikal! Hagna hai, sava aanth baj gaye!" (At this point of time your folks are looking suspiciously at u!)

2. You keep on pulling ur imaginary Tie knot upwards even when u are wearing a T shirt!

3. You take a sniff at your socks to check if they're on the verge to be washed!

4. Your Mom shouts at you coz u throw ur clothes on ur kitchen platform!

5. You press Ctrl+Alt+Delete while leave ur home PC!

6. You give ur mom a green coupon when she gives u a plate!

7. You tell ur mom "Arre Bhaiyya thoda aur paneer dalo!"

8. You ask ur mom "Unlimited khana hai kya?"

9. You panic when its 10:30 pm and u are outta ur home!

10:You catch people who come to ur home and make them sing songs!

11:You swipe your smart card on your house door! (I know its 11th!)

My first Blog!

Hmmm... Seriously, I cannot explain you why have I started blogging because there may be more reasons than one. Its a pity that now that i have a Blog I dont have a subject! The following may be the reasons why have i forayed into this "new","fascinating" world of blogging!

1. On this day ie.26/02/11 Saturday Afternoon i am too bugged to do anything productive.
2. I work as a coder, hence i type huge lines only when i am coding, hence i wanted to type JLT.
3. My brand new TRIBAND seems to be in a stable condition.
4. This will help me explain and put forth thoughts in a better way.
5. The previous 3 points were just fillers!

There you go... perfect way to waste a dull saturday afternoon!